My name is Hank, I am Chinese.
It's been discovered that I have fleas.
A terrible thing cuz they cause disease.
Could someone somewhere help me please?
For solutions I've travelled the seven seas
But found only bees, cheese and flying trapeze.
Medicated shampoo is just a tease,
The fleas remain and it makes me sneeze.
I've tried killing them with Febreeze,
Flea dips, hot oil & chlorine, jeez!
Having them makes me ill at ease
And prevents me catching my required Zzz's.
About the bugs, everyone agrees
They are a dog's worst enemies.
They can live in trees, travel in threes,
And are indigenous to The Florida Keys.
Their presence will indefinitely displease,
It'd be hard to find one who disagrees
That these parasites should be deportees.
I need some solutions or guarantees
That conditions will improve by large degrees,
Or dogs will revolt and their homes we will seize!
So I beg of you now, I'm down on my knees
Please, oh please, give your expertise
To rid the world of these unease causing fleas.
Do so and you will become trustees
And your every whim we dogs will appease.

(Reprise)